I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
