I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
