See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
