On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
