Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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