just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
