Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
