You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
