so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I love you. Go after that dick
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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