I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
