Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
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