I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I can't turn off my feet"
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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