Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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