dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
