I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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