I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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