absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
