Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Randomize
