can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Randomize
