i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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