I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
