You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Randomize
