You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
