sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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