Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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