help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words...techno handjob
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize