we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
