At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
