You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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