Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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