Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Randomize
