but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
