the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I think I sprained my soul last night
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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