It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
