ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
