ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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