I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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