shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
