I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
