Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
