i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
