some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
