I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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