and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
