the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Randomize
