Will you blow on my dice?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
The feeling are messing with the penis
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
