It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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