no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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