My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
either way he was missing a nipple.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
