Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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