I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
