After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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