my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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