she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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