i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
