i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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