Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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