I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
