I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
