we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize
